Archive | May 2015


I could navigate this house by memory:
The big round windows to the soul.
The shutters, for slamming.
The doors that lead to the chambers of the heart.
And the rooms left unlocked.

The joints and beams that will
Creak when we grow old,
Nails giving themselves to hold us together.
Rotting wood carved erratically
By a circulatory system of termites.

That place upstairs where we will paint –
Desperate artists must always bleed to feel
(Or so they say).
The shelves of books that we will study,
Tearing through pages
Until we find
What makes a heart tick.

– P.B.


“Candle on the Water”

Did anyone else forget about this gem, sung by Helen Reddy in Pete’s Dragon? Makes me think about The Great Gatsby, too.

I went to a wedding yesterday, and it got me thinking a lot about my relationship and how we’re handling this long-distance business. I thought I was doing really well, but there will always be moments when I feel powerless. I guess tonight is one of those nights. I just have to keep reminding myself that I would probably feel that way sometimes, even if he wasn’t across the ocean living in a parallel dimension that exists six hours into the future (that’s how time zones work, right?). I really do believe that everything will be okay in the long run, but there is a lot of time standing between now and then. I just have to stay focused on that candle (or green light) in the distance!

Also, I threw away my ex-boyfriend’s bathing suit. Didn’t even ask if he wanted it back.

Vladimir Nabokov has figured me out.

“I had been always aware of the possessive streak in her, but I never thought she would be so crazily jealous of anything in my life that had not been she. She showed a fierce insatiable curiosity for my past. She desired me to resuscitate all my loves so that she might make me insult them, and trample upon them, and revoke them apostately and totally, thus destroying my past.”

– Vladimir Nabokov, Lolita

Collage by Eugenia Loli

The Age of Adaline was Extremely Underwhelming

1 star**Spoiler Alerts**

I saw The Age of Adaline with my boyfriend last week before he left. I was hopeful, but walked away unimpressed.

Every plot “twist” was predictable from miles away. Adaline’s (Blake Lively) part basically consisted of dropping dramatic one-liners and smirking. And there’s the typical boy-stalks-girl, girl-falls-in-love storyline. Like, this guy Ellis (Michiel Huisman) sees Adaline reading in braille one day so he shows up at a New Year’s party that she attends, tracks her to the elevator, follows her to her cab, shows up to her workplace the next day, persistently asks her out, and WILL NOT TAKE “NO” FOR AN ANSWER. Naturally, she falls in love, which leads her to tell him the secret that she has kept for a bazillion years after knowing him for a grand total of like two weeks.

Also, it is revealed that Ellis’ dad (Harrison Ford, why?) is actually Adaline’s ex-boyfriend from back in the day…AND NO ONE EVER ACKNOWLEDGES THE FACT THAT SHE HAD SEX WITH BOTH THE FATHER AND HIS SON. Shouldn’t that be addressed somehow? Like, the son just doesn’t care at all? There has to be some kind of comparison going on.

There’s also a bunch of pseudo-science thrown in, which I can forgive. The movie was just too Nicholas Sparksy to leave room for an actual scientific explanation. The non-aging concept was cool and kind of reminded me of Benjamin Button, but it didn’t really reach its full potential.

Anyway, I’m not going to rush out and buy it when it comes out on DVD/Blu-ray.

Sad Songs for When Your Foreign-Exchange-Student Boyfriend Goes Back to France

I dropped my boyfriend off at the airport last night and we officially began the trans-Atlantic portion of our relationship. I’m sad that he’s gone, but feel more confident in this relationship than I have felt in any of my previous ones. I can’t wait to go visit him in August, but for now I will let myself enjoy some mopey music.

1. “Night” by Bill Callahan

2. “Ain’t No Sunshine” by Bill Withers

3. “All I Know” by Art Garfunkel

4. “Here Without You” by 3 Doors Down

5. “A Thousand Years” by Christina Perri